Doldrumming

Alarm pole doldrums pounding in my ears like snares,
wearing paradiddles like rudimentary fatigues,
cement seagulls screeing overhead and behind eyes,
sigh the sea breeze gently being, baying today,
a cloud gray hound bringing nothing more than wind
in his teeth, and that’s so much better than the rat
which carries fleas that carry itching powder
in their pockets—see, I didn’t go for the easy rhyme there
with “disease”, even in these last days the firsts abound,
surrounded by sound and voices but no mouths, mounding
the tongues together in heaps to make sure they all taste
the same way, they all save the pain in their tissue,
take issue freely without fighting and drink ever deeper
in the silence, violent tyrants all these brains in our skulls,
using even our most benevolent skills for self-abuse,
killing off the do-good dream in favor of greed,
which leads to complete self-focus, life under a microscope
left out in the sun, hype hope and shun those mundane common
tropes that drip from the lips of those who’ve given up,
shuck the fever off like leaves, ink full sleeves on both
of your arms, with nothing but the word “love” drawn over and over,
covering clover with earth, smothering the ocean with sky,
I don’t have a notion what lies beyond more living but before
the whenever end when, from here in the between, life at 30
seems so long, so far, and tough, but 30 more feels not quite long enough.
Cuz then you really might know what it’s like to have the blues…
@c

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